when i was a freshman in college, fresh out of high school, i had this philosophy class that changed my perception on money forever. in it, i learned of the theory that frivolous spending is an immoral act. spending for no need and out-of-whack wants is immoral because there are people starving, and if you're going to just throw your money away anyway, dammit why don't you throw it to someone who will die if they don't have it. i lept into this philosophy with great joy. i also had no money. i was not close to starving, and therefore not thinking if rich people would change their minds and listen to this philosophy, that i would benefit. but i was definitely low-income and believing in this philosophy had no way of affecting my spending habits. frivolous spending? maybe $5 once in a great while for a fun nail polish color.
suddenly, i find myself making more than i Need to pay the bills. not much more. i'm not able to buy expensive things and not notice it in my checking account. but there are choices to be made now, options now.
now, the philosophy can affect, in some small way, my life. i still am in-love with this philosophy. i am also greatly in-love with a Rabbi who told a rich kid that the only thing left he needed to do is to sell everything he had and to give all the money to the poor. i like the sheep and the goats and i like to remind people that After "the poor you will always have with you," is the part most don't even know is there: "therefore I command you to be openhanded towards your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." (deuteronomy, 15:11, the 2nd part)
the problem is, this revelation that has hit me so hard is still creeping up on others. and i get angry when i see people spend their money the way they do and then sit across the way from me at church. seriously! we talk about the oppressed, we talk about joining them, but i wonder how many of the 11,000 in my congregation would actually lower their standard of living, live noticeably more simply so that they could Really join the oppressed, to maybe put that money in to a development project or to take a lower-paying job that allowed them the time to work on a project themselves. how many would be willing to live in a neighborhood where the poor live? how many would stop shopping for a year intentionally, because they decide to not because they have to? how many would go with simple tools and hard work and meals in homes and books from the library-all these ways of replacing purchases in order to loosen that money up for the true needs of others? how many would pick up their families and leave their careers and move to a place that needs more justice?
how many care enough about the oppressed that this care overshadows their own wants?
i question myself on this, as well, don't get me wrong. i see myself making little acts of frivolity and get freaked out that i am headed down the road of extravagent immorality as well. i wonder where that line is, what is living simply enough. what is extravagant. what is a true need. do i need these pretty blue socks for $4. it rushes over me and i feel like i'm that panic when you think you might drown and then you get your breathing under control again....so much struggle to stay floating.
so it is good for me when i read about the importance of feeding our Joy. right now i am fasting. fasting from non-necessity purchase for lent. someone asked me if i was going to have a mardi-gras shopping day after easter. i said no, i did it before like everyone else. at the endcaps a target. it sucked.
but i think i will have to consider this joy idea.
then again, what i am learning is how much joy i am jumping around in without spending any money. tea parties like little girls, potluck dinners, walking through antique stores and getting ideas for things i already have. the list goes on and on. i am finding a non-spending life to be much more inspiring and creative.
now, if i could learn to stop letting how Other people their money affect me. just live the way God is calling me, not worrying about my neighbor's deal with the Big man. well, i've got 4 1/2 weeks to go. hopefully i can find some of that revelation in that time.
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